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16
WINTER
2012
I walked into my first day of class today
only to find out that I’m in the wrong
classroom. I heard someone snicker.This
is going to be a terrible horrible no good
very bad 3rd grade at IC this year.
I finally made it to my class. I sat down
quietly and put my bag on the back of the
chair. When I turned around to get my
new pencils out of my bag, I fell over.This
is going to be a terrible horrible no good
very bad 3rd grade at IC this year.
I had to go rather urgently but somehow
missed a little. Now I’m feeling rather
squishy. Gosh, I hope no one notices. I
have to walk carefully.This is going to be
a terrible horrible no good very bad 3rd
grade at IC this year.
At recess, Becky the Bully chased me
around and around the playground,
wanting to rub garbage all over me.
One day I’m going to pull one of her
pigtails until it hurts. One day. And I
don’t care what anyone says.This is going
to be a terrible horrible no good very bad
3rd grade at IC this year.
When I leaned over my notebook to write
a few things, my chair tipped backwards
and I fell on the floor, chair and all.
Everyone looked at me.This is going to
be a terrible horrible no good very bad 3rd
grade at IC this year.
Some Big Girls in grade 5 thought I
looked ‘cute’ and pinched my cheeks. I’m
not ‘cute’. I’m seven not three. I walked
into the wall going down the stairs and
bumped my head hard. It hurt.This is go-
ing to be a terrible horrible no good very
bad 3rd grade at IC this year.
I slipped on dog or cat pee (though my
mother later said that
the stain was juice
but I don’t think
so) on my way
to the bus and
fell straight on my
back.There was a
lot of traffic and
it took forever to
get home.There
was a mosquito
in the bus and
I have a huge
red itchy welt on
my neck.This is
going to be a ter-
rible horrible no good very bad 3rd grade
at IC this year.
Mom didn’t let me watch television be-
cause it is a school night and the holidays
are finished. I stomped angrily to my
room, slipped and bumped my head. Why
did school have to start? This is going to
be a terrible horrible no good very bad
3rd grade at IC this year.
Mom said things will be better on the
second day. I grumbled. But do you know
what? She was right.
I didn’t fall and I didn’t slip. I didn’t bump
my head and my chair didn’t tip.The
teachers smiled at me. I managed to avoid
the Big Girls. I didn’t miss this time. And
best of all – Becky the Bully is in another
section far, far down the hallway.
I think – I do believe – that this is going
to be a super-duper extraordinary super-
califragilistic 3rd grade at IC this year!
All true events as told by a very angry
Alexander in grade 3 on the first day of
the school year.
*Title and style and adaption from Alex-
ander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good,
Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.
** Illustrations by Ray Cruz in Alexander
and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very
Bad Day by Judith Viors.
Tales from the Classroom